Key Takeaways:
Couples are more likely to avoid money conflicts when they set shared goals early and revisit them with honest, respectful conversations.
A healthy system often blends joint accounts for household needs with separate accounts for personal priorities, plus clear boundaries around spending.
Staying aligned means no financial secrets, a simple plan for who manages bills with regular check-ins, prioritizing retirement savings, and keeping an emergency fund.
“Stop in the name of love, before you break my heart.” We know The Supremes weren’t alluding to the pitfalls couples face when they grapple over money issues. But our own experience tells us that money plus love can lead into minefields we’d rather avoid.
So, let’s recognize the obvious. Financial matters are an important part of any couple’s relationship. Face them head-on.
For some couples, this will be second nature. For others, it’s a challenge, but we’re here to help.
If you take the time to get on the same page, you can solidify your finances and strengthen your relationship. Working towards the same goals is critical. It’s time well spent.
6 money mistakes you and your spouse can avoid
Set goals
He’s a spender, she’s a saver. Or, he has an always-expanding list of toys he would like to add to his collection, and she spends most of her time thinking about growing the family’s emergency fund and how she can max out their 401 (k) contributions. Does that sound familiar? It’s too late to have “the talk” after you have put a big purchase on your credit card.
So, sit down and have a money date. Talk about your goals and write them down. Without goals, you won’t know where you are headed. Share your feelings and (this is important) actively listen to the other’s viewpoint. Compromise may be needed, but agreeing on common goals will allow you to move forward in a unified fashion. When you have completed this task, I am confident you’ll feel an enormous sense of satisfaction.
All for one and one for all
Marriage is about unity, but not the absorption of oneself into the collective whole. Our interests won’t be perfectly aligned. The same can be said about handling our finances. A joint checking account and joint credit card are perfect for joint expenses, but separate accounts for separate interests are a good idea too. When you set your goals, establish boundaries regarding spending and saving patterns.
Money secrets are a no-no
It’s OK not to disclose the secret handshake you learned from your college fraternity or sorority. It’s not OK to keep money secrets hidden from your spouse or partner. Major secrets may be a symptom of bigger problems that can threaten the stability of your relationship. Don’t destroy trust that can take years to rebuild.
Who handles the monthly bills?
It’s a good idea to put as much as possible on autopay. It’s not a set-and-forget. But you don’t want to get caught flat-footed with overdue bills or late charges that may slip through the cracks and ding your credit report.
Therefore, who takes care of the bills? It may make sense for one person to be in charge so there’s no confusion, and regular payments aren’t missed. But checking in monthly or bi-monthly is a good way to keep both individuals on the same page. Check-ins also allow you to make any adjustments, as a couple, to your goals.
What comes first, the chicken or the egg?
It’s the age-old but unanswerable question. Should we go in the direction of retirement savings or college savings? Having children means putting your kids before yourself more times than you’ll ever be able to count. But when it comes to saving for retirement or college for your kids, put yourself at the front of the line. Pensions are disappearing, and Social Security isn’t enough.
You must consider your retirement needs first. There are exceptions, and we can look at ways to fund both goals. But do your best to maximize retirement savings. At a minimum, capture the full amount of your company’s match. Keep this in mind: If you don’t fund your retirement, who will? The burden could fall on your kids.
Create an emergency fund
Did you know that just 39% of Americans have $1,000 to handle an emergency, according to CNBC? The rest would have to use a credit card or borrow to cover an unexpected need. I know you have ample reserves, but sadly, that’s not the case for all Americans.
Money is a difficult topic. I truly understand that. Treat each other with respect and actively listen when you set goals. Goals provide you with a roadmap, and they can reinforce the bond you have towards each other.
If you aren’t sure how to get started, please reach out to us. We’re here to help and get you pointed in the right direction.
There’s one more thing I should mention. Procrastination is the enemy. Get started today.
I trust you’ve found this review to be educational and informative.
Let me once again emphasize that it is my job to assist you. If you have any questions or would like to discuss our wealth management services, please feel free to contact us.
As always, I’m honored and humbled that you have given me the opportunity to serve as your financial advisor.
John Gigliello, CFP®
John Gigliello, CFP®, is a fee-based fiduciary financial planner in Albany, NY, serving individuals age 50+ with comprehensive planning and investment management, centered around proactive and advanced tax planning. John earned a Certificate in Financial Planning from Boston University and, more recently, successfully completed the rigorous CFP® Certification examination to become a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™. John earned the Accredited Investment Fiduciary® Designation from the Center for Fiduciary Studies®, the standards-setting body for Fi360. The AIF® designation signifies specialized knowledge of fiduciary responsibility and the ability to implement policies and procedures that meet a defined standard of care. John currently serves on the Albany County Investment Advisory Board, having been appointed by a unanimous vote of the County Legislature in January 2019. In this position, John advises the county on a strategy for making the best use of money available for investment.